Winning The Parent's Trust

Winning The Parent's Trust takes a fictitious student through the entire intake process, demonstrates a most effective way to make first contact with a new student's parents and shows how to make your first lesson a real winner.

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Winning A Parent's Trust     Top Of Page

All tutors would like to have a long-term series of lessons with every new student. Unfortunately, many families quit after their first contact with a tutor. This is usually not because of the tutor's shortcomings or because of the parent's financial problems. Rather, it's simply because the tutor hasn't won the parent's confidence.

To understand this, consider the differences between classroom teaching and private tutoring. The classroom teacher has access to many courses and books which present teaching techniques and classroom management skills. In addition, the school administration gives him students for the entire term; he need not worry about winning the parent's confidence as they have absolutely no say in the matter. On the other hand, there are neither courses nor books preparing one to be a private tutor. If a student's parents don't like a tutor, there's nothing preventing them from picking up the phone and contacting another tutoring service.

The only way for a tutor to succeed in securing that all-important first appointment and to keep the student for an extended period of time is experience, experience, experience . . . By working for many years with lots of students, a tutor is able to use a process of trial and error to learn what techniques work and which ones don't. Then, over time, he can refine and improve those that work and replace those that don't. In this way, the tutor gradually becomes more effective in winning the parent's confidence and in convincing them that they've indeed found the right person to solve their child's educational problems.

I'll now present concrete advice to dramatically increase the likelihood your first telephone contact will actually lead to a first lesson and your first lesson will be followed by many more. This advice is based upon over forty year's tutoring experience involving many thousands of students and tens of thousands of hours. To make my advice more graphic, I'll take a fictitious student through the entire intake process. I'll begin by showing how we screen out potential clients who are not really serious. Then, I'll demonstrate a most effective way to make first contact with the parents. Finally, I'll point out how to make your first lesson a real winner.

Before We Place A New Student With You     Top Of Page

Let's assume Mary Smith lives at 515 East 7 St (between Ave C and Cortelyou Road) in Brooklyn, New York. She has called us to help her son, Johnny Smith, improve in seventh grade math. I've called her back to discuss the matter with her and, in our conversation, she's told me about Johnny's problems and I informed her about our service and rates. I then ask, Do you want us to provide a tutor for Johnny? If I get a definite Yes!, I go on. If, on the other hand, I suspect any reticence or hesitation on her part, especially about the fees, I say, Why don't you think it over? Here's our phone number. Call us back when you decide to have a tutor.

Assuming the conversation continues, I say, I'm now going to fill out a Student Information Sheet for Johnny. After we finish speaking on the phone, I'll select a tutor for Johnny, give him all the information and have him call you to set up a first appointment. But, I must be sure you're actually ready to make an appointment when the tutor calls. If I get a definite Yes!, I go on. If, on the other hand, I suspect any reticence or hesitation on her part, especially about the fees, I say, Why don't you think it over? Perhaps you'd like to discuss it with your family. Here's our phone number. Call us back when you're actually ready to set up a first appointment.

Assuming the conversation continues, I conclude by informing Mrs. Smith of our cancellation policy: We have a cancellation policy. If you wish to cancel or change an appointment, for ANY reason, you must call the tutor directly, not us, by three P.M. of the day before the appointment. Otherwise, you'll have to pay him the regular fee for one hour of tutoring. Also, as long as you wish to continue lessons, you must have at least an hour of tutoring per week. If Mrs. Smith refuses to accept either part of our cancellation police, I'll politely suggest she contact another tutoring service; we'll not accept Johnny as a new student.

So, I want to assure you we'll never refer a new student unless we firmly believe the parents DEFINITELY want one of our tutors, can pay our fee, intend to set up a first appointment when you call and promise to abide by both parts of our cancellation policy. Of course, a few duplicitous people fool us but we try our very best to weed them out.

Effective First Contact With A Parent     Top Of Page

Let's assume I've selected Ray Bixby as Johnny's tutor and told him everything he needs to make first contact with Mrs. Smith. Before making first contact, he would select three days and times convenient for him to see Johnny. Let's assume he selected Wednesday at 6:00 PM, Friday at 5:00 PM and Saturday at 10:45 AM. He then places the call. When Mrs. Smith comes to the phone, the conversation would proceed as follows:

Hello, Mrs. Smith. I'm Ray Bixby with A-1 All Subjects At-Home Tutoring Service. I'm the teacher assigned to help Johnny with his seventh grade math.
Let me begin with some background information. What was his last report card grade? . . . What were his last three quiz grades? . . . What was his final report card grade for late semester? . . . What was his mark on the city-wide RCT last spring?
Now, here's what we'll need for the first lesson. Why don't you get a sheet of paper so you can write everything down. Please look up all the grades you couldn't recall just now so I'll have a clear picture of Johnny's past performance in school. Make sure he brings home his textbook, notebook, quiz papers and homework assignments. During the first lesson, I'll give him a thorough diagnostic test so I'll know exactly what he knows and doesn't know about seventh grade math. While he works on the test, I'll examine all his school materials to find out where he's careless  and disorganized and what topics have caused him trouble. Please buy a new, large, 5-subject notebook for me to write up notes at each lesson and purchase a large loose-leaf binder with a good supply of paper so he can do my written homework assignments. This way, I can take out the appropriate sheets, discuss them with him and return them to the binder in a neat, well-organized manner. He'll also need a good supply of sharpened pencils with erasers. We'll need a quiet, undisturbed, well-lit work area at a table or desk. Finally, there must be an adult on the premises. Any questions?
Now, let's set up our first appointment. I can come next Wednesday at 6:00, Friday at 5:00 or Saturday at 10:45 in the morning. Which day and time is convenient for you? . . . You chose Friday at 5:00 PM. Please write it down on your sheet of paper. That's Friday . . . September 23 . . . at 5:00 PM in the afternoon. To prevent any confusion, please read the date and time of our first appointment back to me. . . . Thank you!
I understand you live at 515 E 7 St between Ave C and Cortelyou Road. Is that correct? . . . On what floor did you say? . . . OK, let me add Apartment 3S on the third floor to my information. . . . Thank you!
Finally, I must go over our cancellation policy with you. If you decide to cancel or change an appointment for ANY reason, you must call me directly by three P.M. of the day before the appointment Otherwise I'll have to charge you the regular fee due for a one hour lesson as a cancellation fee. If, for example, you wish to cancel or change our first lesson scheduled for Friday at 5:00 PM, NO MATTER WHAT THE REASON, you must call me directly, not the tutoring office, no later than 3:00 P.M. Thursday afternoon. If you call me on the day of the lesson, Friday, to cancel or change the appointment or if Johnny is not available at the scheduled time, then I'll have to charge you for one hour of tutoring. Any questions?
Also, we require you to have at least one hour of tutoring per week as long as you wish to continue lessons with me. So, if you cancer a lesson, I'll expect you to make it up with an additional lesson later in the week, with an additional lesson the following week or with additional time during the next few lessons. We have this rule because students who miss lessons learn far less and take much longer to catch-up than those who have lessons every week. We certainly want Johnny to have the continuity of lessons necessary to master the subject as quickly as possible. Any questions?
So, please write down my name and number on the sheet of paper. My first name is Ray, that's R-a-y. My second name is Bixby, that's B-i-x-b-y. My telephone number is (718) 434-8886. To avoid any mistake, please repeat my name. . . . Now, repeat my telephone number. . . . Now, put the sheet in a readily-accessible place so you can contact me whenever necessary.
In closing, I'm looking forward to working with Johnny. I'll see him Friday, September 23, at 5:00 PM, at 515 E 7 St in Apartment 3S on the third floor. Until then, take care.

In speaking with Mrs. Smith in this strong, professional manner, he's accomplished several important objectives. 1) He's secured information about Johnny's past performance in school so he can formulate a first impression of his deficiencies. 2) He's told Mrs. Smith exactly what books, materials and supplies he'll need for the first lesson so he'll be able to start right from the beginning with the proper equipment. 3) He's informed Mrs. Smith about some of the things (including the diagnostic test) ha intends to do during the first lesson. 4) He's reinforced Mrs. Smiths knowledge of our two cancellation rules, decreasing the likelihood of last-minute cancellations and increasing the likelihood he'll see Johnny a full four times a month. 5) In repeating the day, date, time and location of the first appointment several times, having her repeat them once and having her write them down, he's increased the likelihood that the first lesson will take place without a hitch. 6) He's kept complete professional control over the entire conversation. 7) Last, but by no means least, he's given Mrs. Smith the clear message you're a "take-charge" kind of person, that you really know what you're doing and that she can completely trust you to help Johnny. Believe me, over forty years tutoring experience has made it clear that parents want a strong, professional, self-confident tutor and, when they find one, they'll make every attempt to hold on to him.

However, there are several important points to keep in mind. First, regardless of which words you use, you must speak them with conviction, self-confidence and poise and without hesitation or uncertainty. Second, since the above script is primarily aimed at parents of grammar school, high school and first year college students seeking help in math, reading, science and other academic subjects and in standardized tests like the SAT and GED, you may have to modify portions when dealing with higher level college courses, specialized courses and adult students. Indeed, in many of these situations, you may have to administer a verbal diagnostic test of your own creation, rather than a written one. Third, some parents are put off by foreign accents, especially if they have trouble understanding the tutor. This prejudice can be overcome by speaking slowly, v--e--r--y s--l--o--w--l--y, and pronouncing each word as clearly as possible. Finally, you may occasionally run across a parent with no concept of common sense, logic and politeness, who treats you like a delivery boy or a janitor rather than as the teaching professional you are, do the best you can. Fortunately, such people are few and far between.

Successful First Lesson With A Student     Top Of Page

Let's assume that Friday, September 23, has come and Ray Bixby has arrived at Mary Smith's house at 5:00 PM for the first lesson as scheduled. After the introductions and welcomes are over but before sitting down to work with Johnny, remind Mrs. Smith of our cancellation policy:

I've got to review our cancellation policy with you. If you wish to cancel or change an appointment, for ANY reason, you must call me directly, not the tutoring service, by 3:00 P.M. the day before the lesson. If you call me to cancel or change an appointment after 3:00 PM the day before the lesson or if Johnny is not available at the scheduled time, then I'll have to charge you a one hour fee for the missed lesson. Also, we require you to have at least one hour of tutoring per week as long as you wish to have lessons with me. So, if you cancel a lesson, I'll expect you to make it up with an additional lesson that week, with an additional lesson the following week or with additional time during the following weeks. Are there any questions? Do you still have my name and number written down? Thank you.

I can't emphasize too strongly how important it is for you to reinforce our cancellation policy in this manner. Indeed, Mrs. Smith might begin a pattern of canceling lessons without making them up causing you to see Johnny just two or three hours per month. If this happens, point out that she's not honoring her agreement to have you see Johnny at least one hour per week and that this is having a very negative effect on his progress. If the situation does not change for the better after this conversation, you may contact us so we can set her straight. WE'RE PREPARED TO DROP ANY STUDENT WHOSE PARENTS ARE NOT WILLING TO WORK WITH THEIR TUTOR AT LEAST ONE HOUR PER WEEK.

Next, administer the diagnostic test to Johnny. Since Johnny is taking seventh grade math, he should by now have mastered whole numbers, fractions, decimals and percents. Before starting the test, ask him if he can add, subtract, multiply and divide whole numbers. If his answer is Yes, Maybe or Not Sure, then include all the whole number questions in the test. If his answer is No, then omit the whole number problems and plan to devote several lessons to whole number skills. Just as you would do if you were teaching in a classroom, you'd thoroughly explain each topic to him, with detailed write-ups of definitions, facts, methods, model problems, illustrative examples and comments in his notebook, have him do practice problems to firm up what he's just learned, examine and correct the written homework assignment you gave him at the previous lesson and reach topics not fully mastered the first time around. Ask him the same question about fractions, decimals and percents and, in each case, follow a similar course of action depending upon his answer. (Naturally, question him only about topics in his course syllabus. For example, the third grade math curriculum includes only whole numbers while the seventh grade curriculum also includes fractions, decimals and percents.)

While Johnny is working on the diagnostic test, which should take 20 to 40 minutes, depending on how many questions had to be included, carefully examine his class note, homework assignments and exam papers. After completing the test, grade it. You'll find the majority of students do very poorly, with scores between 20% and 30% being the rule. Let's assume Johnny got 23% on the test and it revealed serious deficiencies in long division, fractions, decimals and percents. Let's also assume his school work revealed he's very careless and corroborated the diagnostic test findings. Finally, let's assume it will take about three hours per week of tutoring for Johnny to catch up and master the course. (Your estimate, whether 1, 1½, 2, 3 or some other number, must be an honest one based strictly on the facts of the situation and the number of weeks left in the term.

Follow this by teaching the topic revealed by the diagnostic test to be the starting point. Perhaps Mrs. Smith wanted a tutor to cover discount and commission percent problems for a test Johnny is having next week. Nevertheless, if the diagnostic test shows you he does not know fractions, decimals and his difficulties start with long division, then, by golly, you start with long division and continue with a series of future lessons in which you thoroughly teach fractions, decimals and whatever other seventh grade math topics he need that are prerequisite to percent problems. Remember, our primary goal as a tutoring service is to have the student totally master the course.

Cogent Advice To The Family     Top Of Page

The final few minutes of the first lesson are devoted to a consultation with Mrs. Smith as follows:

Mrs. Smith, here's what I believe Johnny must do to improve his grades. Last week, you gave me his report card, quiz and RCT grades. During this lesson, I gave him a comprehensive diagnostic test covering the entire seventh grade math curriculum. Unfortunately, he only scored 23% and the test revealed lots of deficiencies in long division, fractions, decimals and percents, all of which must be retaught if he is to catch up. While he worked on the test, I carefully examined his school work and found that he makes a great many careless mistakes which can be overcome only by lots of practice and drill. Finally, we devoted the rest of the lesson to a thorough review of long division which, being the first topic he couldn't do, is where we had to begin.
Based on these facts and on the number of weeks left in the semester, I believe Johnny will need three  hours per week of tutoring to catch us and master the course. So, how many hours per week do you want me to work with Johnny from now on?

About half your clients will accept your diagnosis and have you come for the number of hours per week you recommended. The rest will continue with just one hour per week. If Mrs. Smith opted for just one hour per week, reply that this won't give you enough time to enable Johnny to catch up but you'll try to cover as much as possible and get as close to the mark as possible. Schedule all future lessons according to her wishes. If, when lessons terminate, she complains you didn't complete the entire course, remind her you recommended three hours per week but she chose to have just one. I agreed to follow her wishes only after advising her that you'd not have enough time to cover everything. Like anyone making an important error in judgement, she alone bears full responsibility for any unfortunate consequences resulting from her bad decision.

In making your recommendation, you're acting just like a doctor. After he examines you and runs some diagnostic tests, he has you in for a consultation to tell you what's wrong, recommend a course of treatment and give you an idea of how long it may take to regain your health. The only difference between the doctor and you is that he's dealing with a medical problem while you're dealing with an educational problem.

If you always present yourself to new clients in this strong, professional, self-contained manner, you'll win the parent's complete trust and gain a long term student.